Family values in Pakistan

By Nazan Khan

“Mama, Papa look at your grandson” said Irfan with excitement and shifts his son from his hands to his fathers’ hands. “Now I become Grand paa” replied Irfan’s Father happily looking at his wife. Both Grandparents were extremely happy because they were seeing their sons’ next generation and it’s a fact you love your grand children more than your own children. After grand parents, the child was taken by Uncle and Aunty and they give their blessings to him. Then Irfan’s wife said to her in-laws; “Mamma, Papa please suggest name for your grandson”. “His name will be Ali” replied Irfan’s Mother. “Ali” said all family members collectively and then starts smiling by looking at the newly born child. This is a typical Pakistani family consists of grandparents, parents, siblings, and other relatives who all live together in the same family unit.

The real beauty of any nation lies within its traditions, values, and culture and the organization that pursue it is called a “Family”. A family that sustains its members - that supports and nourishes the members. In Pakistan, a family is not merely a group of people who are together just by nature, here family is a “bond of relationships” in which people are joint to each other with emotional ties, Where every relation makes the other relation complete, where family members love and respect each other without any expectations and where elders are regarded with respect and honour.

People in Pakistan follow the joint family system and live their lives along with their parents. They give much respect to their customs and traditions and pay due attention to family values. The value of a strong family system has played an important role in influencing individual’s living, social role, profession and decision making. A strong family unit creates a safe, positive and supportive place for all members to thrive. They are able to utilize resources and live together in a fairly healthy manner.

Each member of a Pakistani family has respect for the older family members. The Grand parents form a central beacon in a traditional Pakistani family, where they are treated with reverence and hold an authoritative place. They work together with other elder family members to solve problems, and pass their skills and experiences on to the next generation. They are good role models and looked upon as the primary source of guidance. In return, they are provided with care and support from their family members.

The male members of the family are considered to be the guardians of the family and play a significant role with respect to the well-being of their family unit. The major decisions in the family are taken by them and their words must go unquestioned. Their dream is to support their family members and work for their social and financial wellbeing. When all the male members work together and contribute equally in the family, the financial burden get minimize and the elements of jealousy and evil also get erode hence they are able to prosper and thrive together.

All of the family members live together and share joys and sorrows with each other. The elders in the family set the tone by reaching out to their friends and community and teach their children the importance of doing the same. All the female members of the family jointly handle the household responsibilities and support each other in work. As children spent most of their time under their custody therefore the entire grooming of children is also done by them. They consider their family as their entire world and jointly look after their family needs.

At the same time, the families in Pakistan never fail to look at the children in the family as "gifts from God." All the elder family members are responsible for teaching the children about the basic beliefs of the family's chosen religion. Family values, customs and traditions are also transferred to children by their elders and they are also taught how they need to treat elders with respect and honour. The children watched their parents taking care of their grandparents and are also making well thought out decisions over the years, and then children will also tend to be supportive and good decision makers themselves. Among the children of strong families there is less moral and emotional problems. They tend to go on and have strong, healthy families of their own, having learned from their elders example.

In Pakistan, people conceive the traditional and cultural family values and they give good respect considering them as divinity and sacredness. Their main objective is “living together, growing together and surviving together”. Here, giving physical and emotional support is quite usual in joint family system. This will lead to a happy, healthy and prospering family which benefits the whole society. As it is said that one good family build a good community, then all good communities build a good society and at the end all good societies jointly fabricate a successful nation.

9 Response to "Family values in Pakistan"

  1. Anonymous July 11, 2010 at 9:43 AM
    Family valuesplay an important role in our society!without family values we will never survive this long life!
  2. ammar August 15, 2010 at 2:54 AM
    no doubt pakistani culture respects and follow family system....
  3. Anonymous January 28, 2012 at 7:46 PM
    AM A us citizen, AND MY HUSBAND IS PAKISTINI,I recently visit his family in Lahore for 6 weeks- and became familiar with family living together. My husband's mother suggested that we all live together in America the same way. But I being American have always wanted my own house, and to only live with my husband and children. I would take in my in-laws and parents if they were to get to the point where they could no longer take care of themselves. I do want to raise my family in the same neighborhood as my parents and in-laws. But I never once wanted to live with my in-laws or parents in the same house because I want privacy. I think privacy is very important. But on the other hand I grew up in a two flat apartment building and I was one of the closest grandchildren of my grandmother’s. I think because my parents and I lived in the same building as my grandmother, my grandmother and I had a very loving relationship, I mean it was not easy all the time- as my mother's mother ( grandma) who is the grandmother I am referring to would have differences but in the end- it all worked out. I think my in -laws want that same type of relationship. I dont mind, having a close relationship with my inlaws… just not under the same roof. I don’t need my mother-in-law living her life through me. I like having my own life, being my own person, and not having to answer to any one. I understand that having a husband and children will mean I will have to rely on someone besides myself to help my family. And I don’t want no-body always telling me what to do in my own house. I pay the cost to be the boss. Some may say is selfish, but as a married couple with children, if its uncomfortable to the wife, then its not right.
    sign Love family values but value indiviual privacy as wll
  4. Anonymous December 20, 2012 at 11:29 AM
    It Is Highly Unfortunate That In The Past 10 Years Or So Our Time Honored Traditions and Values Have Disappeared.The Kind Of Values Patronized By The Government and The Media Are To A Large Extent To Blame.I Wish We Had Those Values Back.They Were The Beauty of Our Country
  5. Anonymous November 19, 2013 at 11:35 AM
    i feel your awesome pain and i feel like crap
  6. Anonymous February 6, 2015 at 11:26 AM
    why not progress and be more modern? 'time-honored' traditions go awry when a woman doesn't want to be the cook and maid for 20 years while her mother-in-law raises her children, or what about when mental health and dementia issues surface, especially during aging? the time-honored system is a mess, and what if a woman wants her own home, not her mother-in-laws? and her own life? the traditional system belongs in the village of ancient times, and with it in the past, the suppression of the individual.
  7. DR.FAROOQ Alvi February 13, 2016 at 3:56 AM
    Family system is Allah swt' very special blessings .elders guide,help and protect. Youngsters
    respect serve and assist elders small kids amuse play and provide joy to all. Look at life of pa njtan pak Learn from their hail hearty peaceful and prosperous lives.
    L shun selficeness and enjoy Sacrifice for your kith and kin.
  8. FireCruZ February 13, 2016 at 4:05 AM
    Family values are not about tradition or modernism. Its about nature. We socialize in friends and not family is what people think is modern. We should respect family values, where as the lady in earlier comments posted about in-laws. Well the In-laws should also behave nicely to keep these relations bonded together. Also if you like american system, then your views will get changed by the time you have your grandchildren whom you can meet.

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